Love in the Form of a Rebuke

One of the more difficult aspects of being a cell group leader based on my experience is in the area of correcting and rebuking the young men under me. The frequent questions that come to my mind whenever I sense that one of the guys need 'a talk' are: "Lord, is this you wanting to correct them?", "how do I rebuke in love?", and "how far does the spiritual spanking go?"

I'm still somewhat getting used to the truth that discipline is a part of loving someone, and being a single guy with no biological children pretty much lends itself to the challenge of learning how to dispense rebuke with a father's heart. But as a leader and a maturing Christian who continues to learn daily, I want to immerse myself in all the ways that I can grow. This area of rebuking the ones I love is definitely one I need to learn more of.

Being submitted to a cell group leader myself has taught me that receiving rebuke is part of the discipleship process. As I have several times been corrected by my leaders, I have not only become better in the areas where wrongs were set straight but I have also become wiser and more equipped to administer admonitions.

I have had the privilege of talking to some of the guys in the cell group to point out certain behaviors and attitudes that are not in alignment with God's word. Most of the time I approach this situation with fear and trembling. But whenever I ask the Holy Spirit to check the motives of my heart before taking time to rebuke someone, I get reminded that the Bible tells us to teach a child what is right so that he will not deviate from it later on (Proverbs 22:6), and that even God the Father disciplines us when we go wrong because He loves us (Proverbs 3:11-12).

When these words come alive in my heart, I begin to get the assurance that, like my Father in heaven, I am correcting one of my guys out of love, out of the desire to see them become better than they are now and become the men God made them to be. I believe that when I admonish them in accordance to God's word, I am doing what I see my Father do - showing love in every possible way, even if it means meting out reproof.

There is still a lot for me to learn about the whole "discipline-the-ones-you-love" aspect of leadership, but I find encouragement in Proverbs 27:5, which says, "Open rebuke is better than secret love." I hope you do too.

Father. Leader. Lover.

Do you stop loving your sons even when they don't conform to your idea of who they should be?


One of the Lord's first leadership/fatherhood questions to me.

Each son is different. Each son has his own anointing, gifting and calling. Each son has his own personality, temperament and character. Each son has his own destiny and identity.

Each will take their own path to who they will become. No path is the same. Each son's path is unique.


Will you stop loving them when they don't fit into the image you have of them in your mind?

Will you still care for them when they take a path that's quite different than the one you thought they'd take?